Xyon (xyon) wrote,

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El fin del verano

One week to go.

I look back on the summer,
and wonder if it was worthwhile.

I've hit pitfalls, and happy times,
but mostly I just wanted it to end.

I've had my summer love,
though I don't know how much is 'love' and how much is friendship + desire for some kind of relationship.
And besides, she doesn't reciprocate.

I had my job.
Made some money.
Kinda like a co-worker,
she doesn't reciprocate.
That one is all superficial anyways.

Sold a car.
Bought a car.
Paid off 1/4 of the loan on the first payment...
...now if only I could afford to do that for the rest of them.

Ah yes, the day I ate sushi and had Aly in Aliee in an Ally..that was a happy day.

I hate this area.
I come home for friends and family..
..but this isn't home...
..not anymore.

I'm a Fightin' Engineer,
happier in the hell-hole of Terre Haute,
because that's where Rose is.

Two years left...I wish it were more.
Grad school doesn't count,
that's freshman year all over again.
Jay wants to stay, maybe I should, too.
But every true geek knows that it's Rose for undergrad, MIT for grad.
Every true geek also knows (s)he will be paying loans off until two weeks after (s)he dies.

Stephen dropped out.
Total of two friends now.
1 hall-mate freshman year, 1 roommate from freshman year and suitemate soph year, supposed to be apartment-mate jr and sr years.
So, do we get the roommate from hell, or a spacious apartment?
My luck says the first one.

So, what's with me and wanting a relationship now? After being burned by Nicole I sorta was really opposed to one, now I find myself really wanting one. I blame the human nature of the urge to mate combined with sociological factors that involve the usuality of a relationship before mating. However, I still stand by my positions that sex doesn't matter for a relationship, and that I don't want kids, no matter what my instincts say.

Damn, she has been on my mind a lot lately...though most of it is "damn, did I piss her off again?" (Hmm, has anyone noticed that my short choppy thoughts got fluid all of a sudden? I must be waking up now) I know I care for her, but I think it's mostly as a friend, though as I said before, I wouldn't be opposed to a relationship....except that we're going to be 986 miles (so I have both MIT and RHIT as saved locations for yahoo directions, what of it? also have Taylor University, and other random places :P) apart in just a few short days.

So, if I could rewind the summer...I'd spend more time working out how I felt, so I'd know wether or not I'm supposed to feel heartbroken when she leaves. I'll go with no, because a) That's what she wants to hear and b) it's a lot easier.
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