Xyon (xyon) wrote,

  • Mood:
Kyle just left.

Jay isn't moving out, but he isn't here right now.

I feel so alone.

Before Kyle left I started crying, I don't know why. I just started crying and shaking and had to lie on the floor. I was just laying there, crying and shaking...then I heard the door open, and I just -stopped-.

Kyle made sure that was everything, I said goodbye, and before he was at the end of the sidewalk I was crying again (and still am)

My little brother claims that he has a talent of being able to produce tears on demand; I seem to have a talent for stopping them.

How long have I wanted to cry? Why can't I let myself in front of other people?

I feel like a friend of convienece. That if I'm around or needed for something then I'm a friend, but if I'm not right there I essentially don't exist. I sought out people to try to say goodbye to; no one sough out me.

I only wish that I felt like there was someone or ones that really care what happens to me, not including family, who are sort of obligated to.

OI'm done trying to type while crying, call me if you need me, and maybe I can stop.
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